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Trust Issues: How To Work Through Them

Trust in any relationship, whether this be a work relationship, a romantic relationship, or even a friendship, is essential! Without trust, is there truly a relationship? This is something that many people have questioned, and rightfully so.

What is Trust?

When talking about relationships and trust issues, trust refers to the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone. This is why trust is so important when it comes to relationships that you have in your life! Imagine having a relationship, any type of relationship, that is absent of trust. For those who have this, they often feel as though they are in a constant state of nervousness and stress. They do not trust each other, thus they second guess everything that may be happening in their relationship.

What are Trust Issues?

Trust issues are something that many people deal with on a daily basis. They may have been lied to previously by a lover or perhaps they grew up with a parent who lied a lot. It is these types of incidences that make it hard for a person to trust in someone else without doing their homework and what causes trust issues. There are a couple of signs present that may show that you do indeed have trust issues. The common signs and symptoms of trust issues include:

  1. You spy on others in your life because you simply do not believe what they are telling you. While this is normal when you’re still building trust, it should not be happening when you have had this person in your life for a while.
  2. Do you go into any new relationship with the idea that they are going to let you down? Perhaps you start seeing someone new and you know that they will eventually let you down. You may even have this type of issue with work relationships if you believe that the person will never deliver on time or the like.
  3. You self-sabotage a lot! In these situations, a person may have trust issues to the point that they sabotage those relationships around them in order for a relationship to live up to what they believed. For example, you know the person is going to let you down and leave you, so you are constantly mean to this person, resulting in the person leaving you.
  4. You often feel as though the world is against you, even though there is no real proof that this is the case.
  5. You may feel nervous, stressed, and full of anxiety when you think about your relationship because you constantly think that your significant other is up to no good or not telling you the truth.

The problem with having trust issues is that this keeps you at a high-stress level and may even cause depression. If you constantly feel like you are alone and cannot trust anyone, how are you really happy? In most people’s case, they aren’t really happy and this unhappiness manifests in other aspects of their life.

How to Build Trust in a Relationship?

Can you build your level of trust in a relationship? Yes. Trust is something that builds over time, it is often not given freely at first, as too many people have been in the situation in which their trust was misplaced. A few tips to build trust in any relationship:

  1. Communicate openly. Open and honest communication is the key foundation of any relationship that contains trust.
  2. Admit mistakes and never lie. The trust is broken when you are caught in a lie, so don’t do it!
  3. It will take time! Do not rush the process. Instead, be sure that you are taking your time and letting the relationship develop normally. Do things together, talk to each other, and get to know each other better. This is the only way that you can truly decide if you trust a person or not.

How to Trust Again After Infidelity?

Infidelity or betrayal is unfortunately quite common. These acts completely break the trust between two people, causing major trust issues that are difficult to move past. Unfortunately, those who have experience infidelity often have trust issues with everyone in their lives. Is there a way that you can trust again? Yes! Here are a few ways to help you get back to the point where you trust openly:

  1. Don’t think about this infidelity as baggage that you are carrying around with you. While it may be affecting how you approach the relationship, remember that this was in the past. You don’t want to let this ‘baggage’ affect future relationships.
  2. If you are having trouble with trusting a new partner, compare the traits between your current partner and the one who cheated. This is one exercise that can help you to see that they are not the same person and allow you to trust.
  3. Figure out whether someone new is worth trusting. Talk with those close to you about this person, and also allow the relationship to develop slowly so that you can build the trust over time.
  4. Communicate your issues. Let people know that you are dealing with trust issues. This can allow them to be more sympathetic as to what you are going through.
  5. Trust yourself! Just because you have been betrayed, does not mean that this was your fault. Never go into any relationship thinking that you are not enough.
  6. Don’t be surprised if you do feel badly from time to time due to the infidelity. It takes time to recover.
  7. Consider going to therapy for your trust issues along with your new partner so that they see what you are dealing with.

It will take time. But, trusting again after infidelity can happen. The key is that you both must want things to work. You cannot try to do this on your own, you have to work together in overcoming trust issues and kick these issues to the curb.

The Importance of Trust in Relationships

Trust is the foundation of a strong relationship. When you trust your partner, you are going to be happier. Trust is not something that should be given easily and lightly to anyone who may not deserve it. However, people should not go through life expecting everyone to lie or cheat. The key is learning to identify those who show signs of not respecting the trust in the relationship and learning to let go of those times that you have been wronged in the past. If you still find yourself having trust issues, talk with someone to figure out what the reasoning may be behind it.

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