Are you Sexually Compatible With Your Partner? Take This Quiz to Find Out

Sex matters! It’s an important aspect of any romantic relationship. But what happens if your tastes and your partner’s don’t necessarily line up? Maybe you’re into fishnets, candles, and sex toys while he’s more of a missionary style, lights off, socks on kind of guy. If the above speaks to you, I hate to break it to you but this could be a problem down the road.

There are a wide range of people and sexual appetites in the world, and hopefully you’ve found someone whose tastes at least somewhat align with yours. You don’t have to have 100 percent matching sexual appetites to have a successful, long-term relationship, mind you but being in the same ballpark helps. Take this quiz to find out if you and your partner are sexually compatible.

Quiz: Are You Sexually Compatible With Your Partner?

Question 1: Do you find your partner’s body a turn-on?

0=No/Never: Honestly, no. I’m not really turned on by my partner’s body.

1=Sometimes/Maybe: Sure! He has his flaws, but who doesn’t?

3=Yes/Always: My guy is smokin’ hot. His bod is perfect for me.

Question 2: Are you both able to speak up about what you like and dislike in bed? 

0=No/Never: Uh, no. It’s embarrassing. I’m afraid he’ll think I’m weird. Or he might think I’m criticizing his technique or what if he’s criticizing MY technique!? Better not to risk it.

1=Sometimes/Maybe: Yeah, it wouldn’t be problem… except for that one thing.

3=Yes/Always: I have no problem doing this if I need to but I don’t often need to (wink). We’re pretty synced up.

Question 3: Are you two operating on the same level of passion and kink?

0=No/Never: Not really. He’s more Christian Grey and I’m more Mother Teresa (or vice versa).

1=Sometimes/Maybe: We are pretty much on the same level. One of us might be a bit more daring than the other, but nothing too noteworthy.

3=Yes/Always: We are two peas in a sexy-ass pod.

Question 4: Have you thought about/discussed/used sex toys in your lovemaking?

0=No/Never: I want to, but he wouldn’t. Or, vice versa.

1=Sometimes/Maybe: We have, but one of us didn’t like it.

3=Yes/Always: We are on exactly the same page as far as this goes.

Question 5: Do you look forward to sex?

0=No/Never: No, and it has everything to do with my partner.

1=Sometimes/Maybe: Not really, but it’s me, not my partner.

3=Yes/Always: Hell yes!

Question 6: Would you ever make up an excuse NOT to have sex?

0=As often as I can: I have my period. I’m getting my period. I’m just getting over my period. I have a headache. I’m getting a headache. I’m just getting over a headache. Rinse, repeat…

1=Sometimes/Maybe: Every now and then. But doing this every once in a while is OK, right?

3=No way!

Question 7: Have you faked an orgasm with your partner?

0=Yes: I do so just about every time we have sex.

1=Sometimes/Maybe: I’ll admit to doing this once or twice (so sue me).

3=No/Never: Now why would I want to do that?

Question 8: Do you like the way he smells?

0=No/Never: What a weird question. I guess he smells fine most of the time.

1=Sometimes/Maybe: When he wears that one cologne, mmm.

3=Yes/Always: I LOVE the smell of my man showered, unshowered, whatever!

Question 9: Sex aside, do you get along pretty well?

0=No/Never: Not really. We are having major problems in and out of the bedroom.

1=Sometimes/Maybe: We get on each other’s nerves sometimes, but in general, we do OK.

3=Yes/Always: He is my BFF and I’m his.

Question 10: How do you feel about putting in some extra effort to spice things up?

0=No/Never: Honestly, I’m not that into it. I just don’t care.

1=Sometimes/Maybe: I’m willing to learn and try new things.

3=Yes/Always: We are always looking for ways to shake things up! Bring on the handcuffs and whipped cream.

Quiz Results

Completely Incompatible (Score 0-8 points)

Let’s talk. There is trouble in paradise. Either you two are simply mismatched, sexual appetite-wise, or there are deep underlying relationship issues that have made their way into the bedroom. If it’s a case that one of you is vanilla bean and the other is chocolate wasabi — but the rest of the relationship is sound and healthy — then schedule an appointment with a sex therapist to learn techniques and strategies for meeting in the middle and surviving the sexual chasm. These types of sexual problems can be overcome. Ditto if there is sexual dysfunction present; a trip to a doctor really is in order then.

However, if the reason for the low score is because the relationship on a whole is rocky, or you find that you just don’t really care about him or sex or sex with him, well, then you have your work cut out for you. It’s time for some soul-searching to figure out what it is you want. This would be a good time to begin couples therapy or individual counseling.  

Lukewarm Lovers (Score 9-18 points)

Between “Sesame Street” and “XXX LIVE GIRLS NOW” is the PG-13 club, and you’re in it. Most of us are members at some point in a long-term relationship, and that’s OK.

First off, kudos to you for knowing sex is important and caring about the experience. Your biggest challenge will be not getting complacent and stuck in a rut. Unfortunately. when the honeymoon shine wears off, keeping things spicy becomes work. But you’re not alone! This is true of most long term relationships. If you’re up to the challenge, keep trying new things. Look to TV, movies, and the internet for inspiration. Try a sex therapist if any sexual problems crop up or if you don’t know how to get creative. You can learn!

Hot & Heavy (Score 19-30)

Congratulations! You two are sexually compatible. You appear to be well-matched as far as your sexual appetites go, and you’re definitely “into it.” Having similar levels of passion and a shared propensity for exploration and experimentation is a blessing.

Keep doing what you’re doing; it’s obviously working. If you feel like you could take your sex to the next level, do a good old-fashioned Google search for just that when we plugged “how to take the sex to the next level” into Google, more than 2.3 million search results got returned. One or two are bound to appeal to you.


Healthy sex lives have one thing in common: good communication. You simply must be able to talk to your partner about what you like, want, and crave, and he needs to feel safe expressing the same to you. If you can’t do this, for whatever reason or if you can’t muster the energy to care well, that’s a major red flag.

ThriveTalk offers teletherapy services for busy people who want to talk with a certified counselor but don’t have time to make it into a physical office. Individual and couples counseling is available via video conference, and you can get help with sexual problems and learn how to communicate better.

author avatar
Angel Rivera
I am a Bilingual (Spanish) Psychiatrist with a mixture of strong clinical skills including Emergency Psychiatry, Consultation Liaison, Forensic Psychiatry, Telepsychiatry and Geriatric Psychiatry training in treatment of the elderly. I have training in EMR records thus very comfortable in working with computers. I served the difficult to treat patients in challenging environments in outpatient and inpatient settings
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